Thursday, July 8, 2010

how do you feel about polyamory?

I feel like polyamory is tricky to pull off without hurting someone's feelings - a lot of guys, I'm sure, would be fine with it at least in the beginning... but attachment could lead to jealousy and/or confusion. The same with girls - and girls frequently attach faster and delude themselves further: I've noticed many girls convince themselves they're okay with friends with benefits when they really aren't okay with it, but they simply want to be with the guy and will settle for his request/demand, try to handle it the way the guy wants it to go. I've read Emma Goldman, though, and can appreciate the way she approaches "true love." It's a sticky debate - I believe it's possible if the individuals getting in the relationship are devoted, open-minded, and can learn to not be possessive, if they can approach love in a "The Art of Loving" sort of way. It's tough though - even Emma struggled with it. I know I could never pull off polyamory (or promiscuity for that matter) but I can also respect those who pull it off without getting hurt or hurting. I think it's a nice ideal, and more honest of human relationships than a lof of what is perpetuated out there.

Ask me anything

1 comment:

  1. I think polyamory is a genius concept, built upon the notion that those participating are 100% honest with each partner in the same way. I recently watched a documentary with two different ideas, one being the dreaded "open relationship" and they followed a couple acting this out; the other was a woman in NY who was a polyamorist. It was almost unbelievable how strong, beautiful, intelligent and happy this woman was. Her whole idea of polyamory is that she 1) wants to share love with more than one person 2) she knows that one man (or woman) cannot fill her every need in a relationship 3)she wanted to live honestly with the people she loved and knows that she would be honestly more happy in more than one relationship. It was stunning to watch because she lived this lifestyle with such grace and poise. She treated each partner with respect and kindness and vice-versa. All of the lovers spent time together frequently with little issue (she had 4 relationships). Now, personally, I would love to be like this woman. Though it would take years of zen-like practice on my part, because I was raised much like any other woman in this world, that I "have one true love" and that "I have a soul mate". That I will be happily married one day and that my life is not complete until I do. That's something that I honestly wrestle everyday of my life. That's a whole lifetime of fucking Disney movies my therapist has to wash out of my brain...I am pro polyamory.